I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
