my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in