in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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