Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"