She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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