I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
