I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
