Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
