Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
