addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
