he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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