I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
