I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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