she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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