It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
