they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
