This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
