I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
