You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
