i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
