The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
