He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
