I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
