Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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