We're facebook friends in real life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
