You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
