He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
