so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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