She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
