i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize