At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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