i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
