The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great