im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
