Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind