i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?