Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Randomize
Follow @tfln