i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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