# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
