i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
