ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
