judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
