The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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