Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  be more specific...?

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  (248): whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen? (1-248): be more specific...? http://tfl.nu/5e4s
  Replies (6) Good night (1746) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

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  (912): I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar. (678): I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home http://tfl.nu/hat9
  Replies (14) Good night (1380) Bad night (681)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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  (612): the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher http://tfl.nu/eecw
  Replies (26) Good night (900) Bad night (5069) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

  (716): View more from New York

  do you not see the irony in that??

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  (619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog (716): do you not see the irony in that?? http://tfl.nu/h8wi
  Replies (73) Good night (15844) Bad night (1013)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

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  (337): Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am? http://tfl.nu/uaqy
  Replies (11) Good night (3870) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.

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  (843): all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/8ixd
  Replies (9) Good night (3978) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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  (920): You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby". http://tfl.nu/mh0h
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (1971) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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  (717): Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain? http://tfl.nu/uh45
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.

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  (978): I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed. http://tfl.nu/ypwz
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (2083) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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  (973): he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH http://tfl.nu/asic
  Replies (8) Good night (1021) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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  (717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.

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  (512): Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all. http://tfl.nu/2na6
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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  (973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7
  Replies (0) Good night (1041) Bad night (263)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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  (716): I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew http://tfl.nu/lady
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (135)

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