Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

(1-626): View more from California

You have mice?

(626): View more from California

no why?

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(626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo

Replies (15) Good night (3712) Bad night (867)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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(303): I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :( http://tfl.nu/s6q5

Replies (54) Good night (752) Bad night (17120)
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(205): View more from Alabama

During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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(205): During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker? http://tfl.nu/m2sw

Replies (37) Good night (854) Bad night (6935)
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(443): View more from Maryland

repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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(443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00

Replies (16) Good night (5733) Bad night (1379)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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(704): there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone http://tfl.nu/ttuj

Replies (3) Good night (2828) Bad night (685)
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(425): View more from Washington

I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt

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(425): I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt http://tfl.nu/d0wp

Replies (1) Good night (1627) Bad night (580)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo

Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (635)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

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(401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs

Replies (17) Good night (917) Bad night (2167)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sprained his penis one time

(603): View more from New Hampshire

He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

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(603): He sprained his penis one time (603): He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis http://tfl.nu/1fye

Replies (21) Good night (582) Bad night (2208)
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(716): View more from New York

I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day

(1-716): View more from New York

Eh. They balance each other out

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(716): I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day (1-716): Eh. They balance each other out http://tfl.nu/9dcn

Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (482)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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(306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy

Replies (7) Good night (2848) Bad night (531)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.

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(802): Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step. http://tfl.nu/mq9b

Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (391)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

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(250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2

Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (816)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.

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(810): Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/ppa3

Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (465)
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(801): View more from Utah

Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.

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(801): Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done. http://tfl.nu/ys5o

Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (265)

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