Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.