pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder