i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
