I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize