no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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