Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
