As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize