Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
