plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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