Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
