you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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