Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
