hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
