Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
