giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
