Swine flu. Run for my life!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
