one might say we're banned from that church
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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