She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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