I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
