I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
