is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
