period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you never un-have a 4some
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