I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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