well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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